20 Misfits Songs That Will Get You Kicked Out Of The PTA If Played At A Kids' Halloween Party

Times of discover News: Well, it's that spooky time of year again. Halloween is almost here and now that you're a parent of young children, one of the scariest things you can imagine is... hanging out with other parents and their kids at the local neighborhood Halloween party.

Now you're stuck in a nightmare of unruly kids and their parents who want to talk about tree nut allergies and how hard it is to plan admission to an Ivy League school for your third grader. The only way you know to escape this claustrophobic suburban bustle is to have a DJ play all night. And what better playlist than The Misfits?

But be careful. Although The Misfits may sound like a Sesame Street single to your seasoned punk ears, some parents may scoff at the lyrics and you'll find yourself kicked out of the PTA before you can say gluten-free muffin. Don't worry, we've collected twenty Misfits songs that should not be used to avoid this. You really don't want to plan a bake sale or take patrons on a museum field trip. (Listen to the playlist, click here)

Mom, can I go out and kill tonight?

In the early '80s a song about a cool student who kills his classmates was pure fantasy, but now that there's a school shooting every nine seconds, you can skip this song.

Summer of Kids

Honestly, we don't know what this song is about. All we know is that it's not like Halloween and there's something about peeing blood for a week? What we do know, however, is that if you play for kids, the concerned parents in your neighborhood will be busy talking about you in their Nextdoor message group.

Satan's House Safe

Playing Satan's songs for kids on Halloween is highly acceptable (unless you live in the south) but you definitely don't want to be the parent who has to explain what a brothel is.

Die, Die My Dear

You could possibly hide this on the playlist, but only for a party when the parents have had their fifth glass of pinot noir and the kids are in a sugar coma.

She Dug Their Bones

The title and lyrics are perfectly appropriate for a party with young kids and there's nothing here that will get you banned from your neighborhood, but it's from the Michael Graves era and you know you're really in trouble with these kids for being poor. Don't do that to her.

About Angelfuck

If you cough loudly to hide it then maybe don't make fun of it every time they say "fuck it". Then it'll sound like the cough of "oh little angel" again. Be careful though because coughing too much will make everyone think you're some sort of anti-vaxxer.

Babylon Hollywood

Even if you've been listening to this song for decades, you're probably singing along to the chorus but not paying attention to the rest of the song. What is Heaven doing in her arms? Oh.

Bite About the Wee Ones

It's not that the songs are so kid-friendly, it's the fact that they'll probably excite Julian, the little idiot who keeps sucking up to everyone. So in a way it's your fault that his teeth got stuck in some kid's hand, not that his parents pretended not to notice.

Our R138

This song actually has nothing to do with Halloween. Of course, we're not sure what this song is about - maybe Misfits reunion ticket prices? We know you don't want to play the live version of this song because it features Henry Rollins and any dad would start you off by telling you that Rollins is "too self-conscious" to play more cops in movies than he did in the '90s. He made the decade of '90s.

Death or Dismemberment

Despite that big talked-about line about "burning your testicles," this is a song you should listen to for yourself. But, speaking of your testicles, have you made an appointment for a vasectomy yet? With all these kids yelling around you, it's a good reminder right now.

Bullet Charged

The kids still haven't gotten a history lesson about how a lone gunman at JFK "wasn't allowed to live" by the police or maybe the CIA (whatever you want to believe). And since the song ends with Danzig talking about getting blowouts from Jackie Onassis, you can skip it.

Festival of Blood

No doubt you loved its lyrics as a kid. But you were born in a very different time than these kids. Besides, considering how many drugs you currently take, doesn't your kid listen to songs about ripping people's faces off?

Where Dare Eagles

The specter of offensive profanity on "You Son of a Bitch" isn't really that bad. But it's probably something these kids hear from their grandparents, especially when it comes to Joe Biden. And what could be more terrifying than reminding kids on Halloween of the political storm raging in their home world?